KC at the Bat: The Apple Cup Through My Family’s Eyes

Grief, rivalry, and remembrance: What the Apple Cup still means to my family.

Editor’s Note: Last year, I wrote about what the Apple Cup means in my family. As the rivalry game approaches this weekend, I wanted to share it once more.

When Husky football season rolled around, my late father always quipped, “I love my daughter every single day of the year, except for the fourth weekend of November.”

He was referencing the Apple Cup, his love for the Huskies, and his more important love for his first daughter, who attended and graduated from WSU. Despite getting into Washington, Courtney claims she attended WSU for academic reasons, citing its broadcast journalism school, but I like to think she wanted to rebel, chart her own path, and because she secretly wanted to party in college.

Since losing my father over seven years ago, I often go through the “What would Dad think?” exercise in my head, especially when it comes to Husky football.

What would he think about the Apple Cup being played in the second week of September? He’d think it’d be weird.

What would he think about the Huskies playing in the Big Ten? He’d also think that was weird.

What would he think about the Huskies playing the Cougars at Lumen Field? He’d remind me that the teams played the Apple Cup at Lumen Field in 2011 when Husky Stadium was being renovated.

My dad loved the Apple Cup.

He loved teasing my sister about it. And, for the most part, we knew we couldn’t keep on giving Courtney crap about the Cougs because eventually, they’d just Coug it and lose to the Huskies whether it be in a nailbiter or a blowout.

But here’s the cool thing about my dad. Despite bleeding purple, once Courtney started attending WSU, he set his sights on becoming the best Coug dad for Courtney. This meant he loved driving her (and sometimes the rest of the family) to Pullman in August. He subjected himself to watching Cougar football at Martin Stadium. He even bought a Coug Dad shirt and sweater (telling everyone these were the only WSU merchandise he would ever wear). And he was on a mission to go to Dad’s Weekend every year while Courtney was at WSU.

At my dad’s funeral, Courtney’s college friends recounted their favorite “Jim moments” most of which involved him partaking in the camaraderie and recreation that Pullman has to offer. I loved hearing these stories. Perhaps the biggest insult I took from my dad came when he told Courtney that parent’s weekend at LMU was “kind of lame.” I’ve come to accept that when it comes to football, tailgating, and Parents’ Weekend, WSU beats LMU.

Dad at WSU Dad’s Weekend with my sister, Courtney and her friends.

Grief is different for myself, my sisters, and our mom. One of the biggest lessons I learned during grief therapy was that each of us had different relationships with my dad. And each of us continue to grieve his passing in different ways.

For me, I grieve him during college football season.

The past few years, it has been more of the happy I wish you were here type of grief, and much less of the sad why aren’t you here type of grief.

This time of year reminds me of when he took me to games when I was a kid, when I returned home during college to watch games with him, and when he talked endlessly about the team.

It has been close to 15 years since I moved to California. During that time, I almost always returned home for Thanksgiving and for the Apple Cup. If the game was in Seattle, one of us would sit in our family’s seats with my dad.

It sucks that the November tradition of the Apple Cup is gone. It also sucks that the Pac-12 disintegrated.

But we’ll deal with it, and we can still celebrate the Apple Cup in all the usual ways, even if it’s in September.

I know Courtney will be missing my dad this week. And I will be too.

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